


Don't Threaten Me with A Good Time

by CaptainRomanoff



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Drunk Agents of SHIELD, F/M, Fitzsimmons feels, Fluff, Funny shennanigans, Wedding, drunk party, kind of smut?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-11
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-03-29 17:14:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13931610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainRomanoff/pseuds/CaptainRomanoff
Summary: Everyone has had a crazy night after the Fitzsimmons wedding. They find themselves hungover and have no clue what happened. Things get awkward very quickly, and no one knows what happened.





	1. The Aftermath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I also posted this story on Wattpad. Also, if you couldn't tell by the title, I was inspired by the song "Don't Threaten Me with a Good Time" by Panic! At The Disco. Because yes, and I love Brendon Urie and I am emo af. I really don't know how to write smut but I guess it could be implied here, and there is also a mention of sex and being drunk and also alcohol because that stuff happens soOo have fun reading! :))

_Now I wish that I could find my clothes_

_Bedsheets and a morning rose_

_I wanna wake up_

_Can't even tell if this is a dream_  
How did we end up in my neighbors pool  
Upside down with a perfect view?  
Bar to bar at the speed of sound  
Fancy feet dancing through this town  
Lost my mind in a wedding gown  
Don't think I'll ever get it now

                                         ******************************************************

"Jemma?" 

Jemma Simmons, (or Jemma Fitz now), the nerdy, smart, brunette woke up with a terrible headache pounding her head. 

 _Bam. Bam. Bam_. 

She groaned and moved a hand up to cover her pale forehead covered with tears of sweat, squinting her eyes in response to touching the warm drops. 

She turned her head slowly in pain to see who had called her. She was sure it was her new husband, but she just needed reassurance. After all, she had been on an alien planet, sucked to the bottom of the ocean, been stuck in a virtual reality, and was enslaved by a Kree psychopath. 

"Fitz?" She asked hoarsely. Her throat burned, but from what? 

"Are you..." He started.

She looked down under the blankets of the soft cloud-like bed they slept in for the night. It definitely wasn't at the base. It was a hotel bed, all white with fluffy pillows. 

"Undressed," She seemed to whisper back. She had absolutely no idea why or how she was... well, exposed. Completely. 

"I could say... the same..." Fitz trailed off, looking down at his chest. Jemma awkwardly pressed her lips together, trying to make sense of everything. 

They sat in uncomfortable silence, both of them staring at the ceiling not saying a word about the night before or their current situation. 

"So..." Jemma forced from her throat. "I know we're married and all but is this... normal?" 

"Don't ask me, I've never been married before!" Fitz exclaimed. "Obviously." 

"I don't remember anything," Jemma replied, her tone nervous and soft.

"Neither do I," Fitz stated. "I can't... piece it together."

"Do you think maybe Daisy or Bobbi remembers anything?" Jemma asked. 

"We could ask them," Fitz nodded. "It would definitely seem logical.

Jemma sat up, clutching the sheets to her delicate defined body. She wasn't used to being, well, bare. "I'm going to --" 

She immediately stopped, spotting an elegant white laced gown at her feet by the bedside. She bit her lip and looked up to Fitz, who had also sat up with his back propped up by pillows. "Did we... um..." 

"Have... it?" Fitz inferred. It wasn't the first time they had done it, but Fitz was still quite uncomfortable with the word.

"Sex, you mean," Jemma said. 

"Yes... that," Fitz nodded and gestured with his hand. 

"Well, considering that we are indeed naked," Jemma observed, "I'd say it's very likely." 

"Well, um... I'm glad it was with you then," He concluded. "Because who knows what happened last night."

"Well, I only remember getting married, and that's about it," Jemma laughed. "I'm going to use the shower -- I smell like alcohol."

Fitz slowly brought up his arm to get a whiff of himself. His was repulsed, scrunching up his nose and got up, grabbing a nearby pair of boxers that were on the floor. 

"I'll go after you," Fitz asserted. 

"Well, you could join me of course. Since we are married," Jemma said. 

"Are you still drunk?"

 

 

 


	2. The Unexpected Situation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobbi and Hunter wake up and realize some surprising things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! This is the first ever real fanfic with chapters that I've made on AO3!! I've been constantly writing this on Wattpad though, so I usually post it there first and then here. My username on Wattpad is @AgentRomancff if you wanna catch me there too with an actual book cover and a few other things :) That's also my username for instagram, just so you know *wink wink*

Who are these people?  
I just woke up in my underwear  
No liquor left on the shelf  
I should probably introduce myself  
You shoulda' seen what I wore  
I had a cane and a party hat  
I was the king of this hologram  
Where there's no such thing as getting out of hand  
Memories tend to just pop up  
Drunk pre-meds and some rubber gloves  
Five-thousand people with designer drugs  
Don't think I'll ever get enough (don't think I'll ever get enough)

*************************************************************

Bobbi Morse woke up to the loud sound of a glass bottle hitting the hard floor, which unexpectedly startled her. This was unlike Bobbi, she usually was a pretty heavy sleeper and took a lot to wake her up. 

Coldness rushed over her skin, causing goosebumps to trail up her back and arms. She moved her ice cold hands to rub her opposite arms to find bare skin, running her fingers on top of the goosebumps covering her body. 

She was wearing nothing but a black strapless bra and matching black underwear. 

What time was it? Oh, it doesn't matter. I'm still undressed and cold, laying on the floor. She thought. 

Her phone lay on the kitchen table next to where she had woken up. 

Bobbi slowly sat up with the same annoying headache that Jemma had, only at this point she barely remembered that she'd gotten into a sticky situation with Hunter before this mess. 

Her hands still lingered on her arms while trying to warm up, but obviously not being successful in the least. Her pale skin still shivered as her bare feet touched the cold tile floor. 

1:09 pm.

It didn't surprise her that she slept in this late. She had gotten drunk and sober a few times, so she knew what the circumstances would be the next day. 

She could tell that she had gotten very drunk from all the empty bottles of various alcohol substances scattered on the floor. Any person thought that it wouldn't be possible for one person to practically inhale this much alcohol without passing out immediately. 

Only it wasn't one person that had drank all that, it was two. 

"Bob!" A deep, husky, English accented voice called from down the hall from a bedroom. 

Bobbi recognized the voice, it was Hunter's. But the one thing she didn't recognize was where they were.

How did they get to this hotel room? And who brought this much liquor? 

Hunter was standing with his boxers on, arms akimbo with a confused look on his face. He slowly made his way over to Bobbi groggily, yawning.

"I have a feeling we drank... a lot," She said, motioning to the empty bottles on the hard tile floor. They were practically everywhere.

Hunter's eyes were glued on Bobbi's tall figure, her black garments prominent against her light skin. 

"Hey, did you hear me?" She snapped. 

"Bloody hell!" Hunter exclaimed. 

"We've been married and divorced for years and you still look at me like that," Bobbi pointed out. 

Hunter must've been really out of it, he couldn't process a word that had come out of his ex-wife's mouth. 

"Like... what?" Hunter questioned. Bobbi thought he was completely oblivious by now in their short conversation. 

Bobbi pressed her pink tinted lips into a line, inhaling as if she was about to yell. 

"Nevermind," She muttered and rolled her eyes for effect. 

Right then, Bobbi's phone vibrated with text messages from Daisy. 

She squinted at her small phone screen, the brightness making her a bit dizzy from last night's activities, which apparently included heavy drinking. 

I just found these in my camera roll. Hope you enjoy these. 

There must have been at least twenty photo attachments of selfies and other photos as evidence from last night. They were all from Daisy. 

"Was I really that drunk?" Bobbi exclaimed. "I think I need a nice long bubble bath..."


	3. What Lovers Do (Fitzsimmons)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fitzsimmons get a bit frisky after their wedding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, if this doesn't make sense, it's because I've never really written smut before? So I hope this doesn't sound like a bunch of randomness piled up and that you can make sense of what I'm trying to say, hopefully :)

_Alright, alright_

_Alright, alright_

_Alright, alright,_

_it's a hell of a feeling though_

_It's a hell of a feeling though_

_Alright, alright, it's a hell of a feeling though_

_It's a hell of a feeling though_

________________________________________________________________________________

With the smell of alcohol brimming the room, you'd expect there to be drunk people.

And there certainly was.

In fact, it wasn't at the afterparty of the wedding where you would expect the mixed scent of wine and other substances to be.

It was in a master suite of a luxurious hotel, belonging to the newlywed husband and wife Jemma and Leo Fitz-Simmons (or Simmons-Fitz).

The full king-sized bed was occupied by two sweaty bodies, skin on skin, lips crashing, and between the aggressive blows, moaning from burning, hungry throats. And at this point, one would say that they were heavily intoxicated by the indication of numerous empty wine bottles and shot glasses.

Jemma pulled away for a moment, catching her breath. Her chest was heaving up and down from the way that Fitz had taken her breath away. "So, Mister Fitz-Simmons," she whispered gruffly. "Remember that time I said that we'll do something that'll take your breath away?"

With alcohol heavily flowing throughout his veins, his lips curled into a mysterious smile that also caused Jemma's stomach to turn. His only response was smashing his lips onto hers again as her nimble fingers ran though his curls, then his scruffy beard, and then down to his collarbone.

Her touch only made him want more, crave more of her skin on his (even though her hands were freezing, despite how much they were sweating).

Fitz's hands did the same, and Jemma's skin tingled at his warm hands working their way down. Soon enough, she had began to unbutton his baby blue shirt at a rather quick pace. She slightly giggled into his mouth, which caused Fitz to let out a slow moan into her mouth.

When she was finished, she ripped his shirt off and tossed it to the side of the bed onto the floor without a care.

Jemma was waiting for Fitz to go through the hassle of unzipping her dress while his arms reached behind her, but he groped her back cluelessly in search of the tiny zipper. Eventually she reached behind and guided his hands up, the search ending when he grabbed it and began to slowly unzip her beautiful, white, laced dress.

He peeled it off of her delicate body, revealing the pale skin that was hiding under it. Not to mention that she was wearing a matching white laced bra.

She finished the job by pulling it over her legs and tossed it to the floor to join his shirt.

Jemma's desire to rip off Fitz's black pants only increased when his touch lingered on her skin, pulling her so that the space between them was minimal. Well, there was no space in between them.

That was when the soft mattress of the bed had engulfed Jemma as Fitz's body once again pressed against hers. She completely lost it. She couldn't wait any longer.

Desire overcame Jemma, extending her arms to his lower torso. She fumbled while trying to undo his belt, trying to focus on how Fitz's lips only fueled her with that same desire to watch his pants drop to the floor.

Her hands were shaking from his intensity, his drive.

_Oh, god how she just ached for more. His touch was intoxicating._

At last, her fingers looped around the hem of the black pants.

Her heart was pounding, pounding, pounding out of her chest, it could burst.

"Jemma," Fitz growled. Jemma's hands kept at their job, pulling Fitz's pants down to his ankles.

It was as if Fitz was reading Simmon's mind, simultaneously and rather aggressively ripped off her white knickers. Maybe they were really psychically linked.

Fitz decided that he didn't want to even try to unclasp her bra. Even though he was one of the most intelligent engineers, he met his defeat at a bra.

Jemma almost replicated his actions, being rather aggressive and quick to removing his boxers, leaving him completely exposed.

Jemma grunted as he entered her, leaving her speechless and breathless.

"Oh, Fitz!" She exclaimed, her voice was breathy and light.

Thoughts ran through her mind, a million miles at a time.

He kept at a steady pace until something completely bizarre had left Jemma's mouth.

"Butter my biscuits!"

"What?"


End file.
